As our loved ones get older, some may face memory loss due to Alzheimer’s or dementia. This can make communication tough, but we can make a big difference with the words we use.

Using positive words can make our loved ones feel better. Keep sentences simple and clear. Instead of asking complex questions, try simply saying “Let’s talk about this together.”  This makes them feel included and reduces stress.

Repeat information without reminding them they’ve forgotten. There’s no use mentioning that you’ve told them before if they are incapable of remembering and doing so may make them feel ashamed. Instead, try simply repeating the words anew each time, as though it was the first time you’ve told them. Be patient and kind.

People with memory loss might repeat things. Instead of getting frustrated, see it as a chance to connect again. Try taking the conversation in a new direction with your response, and see where it ends up, like a choose your own adventure story. You may learn more about your loved one this way.

If they repeatedly ask the whereabouts of a person who has already passed away (e.g. their spouse) but telling them that truth again and again would only serve to make them sad each time, then consider responding differently, such as “oh, she’s running errands”.

Always treat them with respect. Avoid talking about them like they’re not there. Include them in decisions when possible, and acknowledge their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand.  Arguing with individuals who have cognitive impairments is also unproductive and potentially harmful, as it can cause frustration and confusion for both parties.

Talking about old memories can be comforting. Look at old photos or listen to familiar songs. This helps them feel like themselves and keeps important connections alive. Encourage them to share stories and listen with care.

In the journey of Alzheimer’s or dementia, our words matter. They can comfort fears, bring back memories, and strengthen our bond. Speak with love, listen patiently, and make our words a source of comfort. Remember what you say matters.